Does this country love its girls?

By now we’ve all hopefully caught up on the news regarding Child Sex Ratio. The provisional data for Census 2011 is out ( the final report will take a year or more perhaps), and while the over all sex ratio shows improvement, what is disheartening is, that the Child Sex Ratio, that takes in to account number of females per males in the 0-6 years age category, down to 914, 13 points lesser from the last Census. What is also sad, is that this is the lowest ever since independence.

Why the CSR is so important, is because, while the overall fertility rate is on a decline?( its a good thing), the difference among growth rate between boys and girls is -2.42 and -3.80, so it is clear that girls are definitely not receiving as fair a chance of survival due to discrimination at birth and consequently during childhood.

And that brings us to another finding. While some States like Punjab, Haryana, Himachal Pradesh and Chandigarh (among others) have shown improvement, considering they were termed the worst states in India as far as CSR goes, other 27 States and Uts show a decline, telling us that the discrimination is not limited to certain pockets, cultures or classes any more, but is much more widespread than we could have imagined, and can only mean one thing. The “worst” States are where there has been active advocacy and programmes by the Government and other stakeholders to promote the girl child. What about the rest of the country? This Country doesn’t love its girls, the way it should.

The reasons are numerous, from dowry, to land ownership, to status of women in society, we continue to look at women as a liability that can only add to a financial and social burden, and we continue to find ways to be rid of them. Technology and access to the same has made sex determination much easier, and people find ways of nipping daughters in the bud.

To me, the problem is not so much about laws not being implemented and technology being easily available. Its not even about the mindset anymore, that comes from generations of treating women like second class citizens. The problem is of status itself, where women, from even before they are born, till the day they die, always end up selling themselves short. We’re treated as the second sex and we learn to treat ourselves exactly the same way. We grow up believeing, we ‘re better human beings only if we sacrifice, we give in, we teach our daughters the same, and we end up in a never ending cycle.

Our only goal in life seems to be to see women “settled”, meaning married, going from custody of father to husband. We never become individuals who own themselves, we never think of life as complete unless it has a male figure in the center of things.

As long as women continue to be the second sex, things will never change. As long as we differentiate between the sexes, be it to carry family businesses forward, light a funeral pyre, take care of parents in old age, or be economically productive, we’ll never learn how to value the girl child and see her as a blessing, just like a male child is seen.

Till then, all I can say is, every queen needs a cover, be the cover for one at least.

Restless yet peaceful

This is a year of quiet restlessness. So far. A year where things have been pretty damn good and pretty damn bad for pretty much everything, have always come accompanied with a fidgety restless discontentment. This is a year where joy and grief has come aplenty, but mostly, a lot of detachment. A lot of not feeling strongly enough. A lot of fidgety calm at the surface. And restlessness. I don't know if this is permanent, transient or non-existent (only in my head!). And disturbingly, the next thought that comes to my mind is, in a very Ravi Shastri-kinda way, I have a feeling that something's got to give here.

Whatever that means.:)

I like wondering every now and then of change. The whats, whys and hows. I like to pick up a lens and see things, places, and most of all myself through it to understand just a little better. You can call it a hobby.One of the changes in me in the last year or two I hate the most is how my words don't flow out of me as much anymore as they could. Writing used to be a lot more effortless, and cathartic to me. It wasn't good writing, but it was brilliant clearing for mess inside my head. It sorta takes away the impact of many good and bad changes. I so badly want to write. I want to write my life. I want to write cricket. I want to write poetry and fiction. I want to dole out crap on the back of my notebook again - not mere doodles. But it doesn't come out. Not enough. What's wrong? I feel tension, sadness, joy, but not soul-stirring teary-eyed emotions like I did, a few moments in life. Is there anything wrong?

Anyway, back to the restlessness. I wonder if I feel it more because I dont write about it enough. I wonder if it is just quarter-life crisis. I wonder if it's just hormonal over-thinking :) But that's the sort of year it has been. Job season excitement vanishing- the flaws in people so much more visible. Stress over not knowing the future equalling the confusion over my desire to not even try to know the future. And even now, disquietude. What am I doing with my life? Why have I never done enough crazy whimsical things like others? Am I too "safe"? Am I too boring? Will I get even a chance now to change all that? How would the new life be? Will it be as bad as I am imagining it to be? What will the job life be like? Am I deliberately not asking hard questions? Have I become too defensive, too non-confrontational. Am I scared of drama? Fatigued? Or is this drama still.

Why isn't peace enough?

And where the f**k are the words?

PS At least, I still have unanswered questions.