Back.............

I want it all back: from the cold nights, to the skipping heart beats.I want it back.I want my tears back- from when my puppy died to the countless times I have banged and bruised my head.I want my parents screaming at me because I am being mischievious, when I am laughing on the inside because I have no intention of changing.I want my friends concerned about me.I want to be missed.I want someone crying, begging God for me to be okayI want it back.I want to cry over sad movies.I want to be afraid of dying.I want my hands to tremble, not from fear but from being emotional.I want to talk-freely.I want to feel wanted.I want my veins to struggle to let my blood flow.I want my heart to have to work twice as hard to beat half as slow.I want it back.I want it all back.I want my innocence back.I want you back.

Nothing without you........

I used to have a very strict self designed code of conduct: how to laugh, how to weep, how to speak, how to behave, how to react and so on.He used to admire every move of mine.I started feeling that divine hand had bound some hidden wires of us that he feels comfort with even very weird act of mine.Then relation started getting stronger and stronger.My love kept on increasing and his acceptance kept on decreasing.I became a spot that always received criticism.When I asked him, "are you not feeling feasible with me ?"He candidly replied, "Yup, some features of your personality really hurt me". I said, "but dear, that's my nature".He said in an even more candid way, "then turn around and find some other way for you". I followed his command just like ever, I turned around but oh!! There was nothing other than chaos behind me.I screamed and knelt down before him.He stood there with folded arms in a rather indifferant manner but with a question mark on his face that why I again came back. I looked up, towards his face.My lips were badly stuck but my eyes pleaded, "my past, future and present have submerged themselves in you. I cant go back, I cant move forward, and I cant even stay in the present moment with you. You have the right to discard me, but I cant let you go because I love you so much."