It happened. He came. Dear God, thank you for finally making this happen. What can I say about those 2 days? This is what they mean when they say ‘It was magical’.
I miss him sorely. I never really wanted to open this page and type out a post, whining about his absence. I wanted to be that cool chick, having such a good time, that she doesn’t even notice his absence. I give up though. I admit defeat. I miss him. His touch. His warmth. His embrace. His annoying persona.
I have been under excessive stress. I know, I seem to say that in almost every other post, but that is really how it has been. Nothing seems to be going right with me right now and as he has always been, he is the only shining star of mine. We are always short of time, and I try to pack in as much as I can in every possible minute. While it is good to utlise every second so effectively, it does wear you out. I end up emotionally exhausted. Especially if you feel, you are the only one doing it.
I have been overwrought with emptiness, anxiety and sadness since the day he left. Life has taken such a turn that I hardly listen from him in a day. We met. For God's sake we met. And sue me for thinking it would be different after that. He would be different after that. But, no one told me people start valuing you once they meet you. Hah!
I’ve been going through a phase in which I question the purpose of everything. The amount of emptiness I see has been overwhelming me. I’ve been forced to confront certain realities of life that I would have preferred to escape. At this point, I really didn’t want to part from him.
He has a fool proof way of making me smile and laugh when I am distressed. He brings back the carefree, mirthful child in me.
I get through the day with minimal effort. Night time however, is a different story. Time seems to go by very slowly once it gets dark. I feel restless. And that is when it comes back to me: How could I make the same mistake, all over again!!!
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