Rambling

As I sit here , I don’t know whether to be happy that the exams I had been dreading for so long are almost over or to be sad thinking about what lies ahead for me in the near future. Whenever I’m sad or down, somehow Taare Zameen Par comes to mind. Here’s an argument that could take place between Aamir Khan’s character in that movie and a student.Aamir’s dialogue is a line from the song Bum Bum Bole from the same movie.

Aamir- Bhala machhliyan bhi kyun udti nahi? Aise bhi socho na.
Student-Sochna? Dude, that’s not even in the syllabus. It was not there in +1, not in +2 and the coaching is not covering it in the extra course that just might come up after our University got the Central University status.Why should I waste my time in doing something that is out of syllabus? Mere paas aur bhi bahut kaam hain!
Aamir-Hunh?!

Sounds funny doesn’t it? But it’s true. How can you expect the student to think why fishes don’t fly when he’s too busy trying to find the tax that a serviceman or a businessman pays or better yet trying to find the process costing and marginal costing of a product???? That’s an insane thought. Sochna is such a useless thing to do, usse admission nahi milta. And it doesn’t even get you a high paying job, fir uska kya fayda? Bekaar hai yaar.

So then, why am I sad and pissed? This shouldn’t be happening because I just had my last major examinations yesterday(I do have two more papers left but they are like nothing compared to the other ones I had). I should be happy right? Probably not. Because now the next step is ready to be taken. It is now time to join the over-hyped crash course at some XYZ academy that will be my last chance at getting into a decent MBA college. When everybody is doing it, I should also right? As in bhed-chaal.

It’s funny how I’ve never done what I wanted. Whenever someone would ask me what I wanted to become when I was young, I immediately replied - “Engineer from IIT!”. And they would be impressed. But was that really what I wanted to be? I don’t know.All I know is that it was my family's dream/wish. I was told that I would become an engineer from a very young age, so I started wishing that too. Obviously, I didn’t know life can turn your plans upside down at times.Over the last 2 years, things have been happy and miserable. Happy from the friends point of view(was it???) and miserable from life and studies point of view. It’s amazing how these things have made me not want to live. No, this is not a suicide note, not just yet anyway. But I’ve wanted to just jump into the sea sometimes and drown, and go away. And I wonder if anyone would miss me i.e. the gal who ruined up everything. Chalo, anyways, ab kya fayda, I’ll end this post :(