It continues....

Yet another time. I did the same mistake again. I broke two resolutions of the year and ended up feeling like a moron.

Not any more.

The year started on an extremely high note with a positive attitude, zest and enthusiasm. A new fervour. Some very random resolutions on the personal, professional and emotional front. Its been a month. A long, really long month. Personally, I have grown a lot as a person in comparison to last year, I find it difficult to make 'new' friends, open up to people very easily, and most importantly be expressive with everyone.

I used to be this carefree, speak-my-mind kinda girl some months ago. Somewhere I am lost in the conundrum of life.

I choose my words now. I miss certainty. I miss the insanity I once had.

Though my dear friends are still amazed at how much I can talk and how I do it. Somewhere these talks are becoming hollow at times.

I was consoling a friend about not being a dukhi aatma, at times I turn into one myself. Too much jazz is happening simultaneously. I have spent THE coldest weekend in all senses of this month and it doesn't feel good.

But, what has still remained intact in this new year is the new hope that it got along with it. I know it is just a phase and it will pass away too and I know think too much at times.

So, now on, I will channelise my energies to new aspects, stop being a sad,gloomy idiot, bring about change if I feel about it and more, DO SOMETHING CONCRETE than just talk about it. I decided today before I felll asleep for my afternoon nap that I will stop being nice to others.

But, then I realised, that would just mean losing a part of me and being who I am not just because others behaved the way they do. So, I will continue to be nice. :D

Aah! I am amazed though that I still haven't lost my randomness and my spirit to keep motivating myself :D