Monday, September 24, 2012

Move on, will you!

This was all her fault, she had no one else to blame. She had been weak and foolish and insecure. She had reached out to a wrong man, time and again, in a moment of need.

Remorse filled her. Remorse and regret. Why wasn't she stronger? Why was she so needy? But then, when hadn't she craved love? She knew she couldn't blame her family and friends. They'd done their best. They'd tried. The fault was clearly hers. She had always been clingy, needing constant reassurance and affection.

If only she hadn't fallen in love with him then maybe she could have played the game..floated through this with dignity and grace. But there was nothing dignified about what she was feeling.

She felt consumed by fear, consumed by need and pain. There was no way anyone could love someone like her. Someone so fearful and broken, someone so damaged. They'd soon discover just how much she needed them and it would either overwhelm them or give them an opportunity to take advantage of them. Her needs overwhelmed everyone.

Better to leave now while she could. There was no way she was strong enough for a prolonged goodbye. Better to do it, quickly and cleanly, one hard cut today, a total break, then move on.

He'd be okay. He'd be fine. You need to feel strongly for someone to not be okay. He'd survive without her. She was the one who might not make it without him.

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