Imperfect is for me............

All I can think about is the hows, whys and whats of things. How did I let myself go that far? When did it happen? Why does it feel so right?There are some things in life you want so badly that there is no other alternative. No scratch that. There is always an alternative. Sometimes even a better one, but it would never make you feel the same way. It could make you feel better, it wouldn't make you feel the same. I am selfish. I want to feel the "same", the way I have always felt. The way he made me feel. Does it make any sense?

Alternatives are sometimes a more practical and economical option. I say economical because trust me Love costs you A LOT, more than anything could ever cost you and I dont mean in the monetary terms.. But alternatives are like eating a frozen yogurt instead of ice-cream. It is healthier but it will never satisfy your craving; it will never make you feel the SAME. Do you see where I am going with this?

Sometimes you meet someone and you know it is not going to be a perfect relation.For some odd reason you still want to give it a try for the hell of it. Yeah, I gave it a try for the hell of it, and now I can't think about being with a perfectly compatible person that may or may not exist. Because that imperfect person is the One for me. I like the imperfection in us. I like the yelling and the screaming and the fact that I can be way too emotional and he can be way to logical at times. I like that he is very specific about his outlook where as I could care less about mine. I want him to yell at me for talking too loudly or for being irritating at times. I want to yell at him for not going to bed at a proper time or having cigarettes, or being too careless.

I cannot believe I am admitting all of this. I, who always wanted everything perfect. But I do. I have learned that happiness is not in perfection. It is in the screaming and the yelling. It is not in the perfect romantic evening but in an ordinary weekday night when you go to a Pizza Hut because you are too lazy to go elsewhere and eat it straight out of the box. Happiness is not about having what you want but wanting what you have.