Fear

I hope you forgive me for treating you the way I do.

Yesterday, I pretended to not notice you when you walked past me.

I love your eyes and I think your smile is beautiful but I won’t tell you that.

I am sorry I keep my emails short. I want to write longer emails but I don’t. I keep them short and to the point so I don’t say anything I regret later.

You wonder why I dont look at you. It's not that I dont want to. Its just that my heart skips a beat and my breath is caught up in my chest whenever you smile at me like that. So I avoid eye contact as much as I can.

I miss having long conversations but words have gotten me into trouble before, I don’t want that to happen again. So I stay quiet.

I am sorry for the delays in replying to your messages. I think too much before I can write anything.

I know I haven’t been around lately. I know if I stop by, I wouldn’t want to leave.

I am sorry I treat you harshly. But I have no choice.

I think I love you…

And I am terrified.