Craving.....

At times in the middle of work, I find myself craving.

I find myself craving for you, like I would crave for ice-cream or chocolate at times. I am quite notorious for my cravings among my friends. Usually when I need to eat something I would just HAVE to get it.

But you…come on now… I can’t eat up a human being! But that is exactly what I want to do at times. Consume your entire being. Take you in me—completely. I know it sounds absurd but I crave for you. I need you. I want you… all of you. So bad. It almost kills me to know that I can’t always have you the way I want you or whenever I want you.

It’s getting too intense. The more you seem out of reach the more I want you. Please try to understand, you are like my sleeping pill. I need to take a dose every night before I can go to sleep. Otherwise I am an eternal insomniac.

Sometimes I want to hold you so tight that it would hurt. And at the same time, I fear. I am afraid that if I touch you I will hurt you. There is too much intensity. Perhaps there is a reason why we are not close.

Please don’t touch me. I should not come in your radius of contact. My heart is so full of emotion that if by chance it is shaken, it will spill everything. I am so intense that I might fall apart. And knowing me I won’t do the damage only to myself. I don’t trust.

I pity myself tonight. I am hopeless, pathetic, almost drunk… yearning for you.